The Two Mrs Humphrey's Part II
by The Island Writer
Summary: Repercussions from the slap that was heard around Bendels


23/06/2010 19:18:00

**The Two Mrs. Humphrey's**

Part II

**This is the second part to my earlier story, "The Two Mrs. Humphrey's" if you have not read that I would strongly advise you to so, because this story will heavily play off the first one. Enjoy!**

**PS- This is pre-funky Jenny when she was still cute and nice. **

"Happy Birthday Jenny!" Rufus said, as he hugged his daughter. Wrapping his arm around her he kissed her cheek. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks," she smiled looking down taking the gift he was holding out to her. "You didn't have to get me anything else. You and Lily gave me so much already." She touched the edges of her dress that Lily had bought her earlier that day. "And dinner was really great. Having Eric, Serena and even….Chuck there….it was nice."

"It was nice," he nodded. "But this gift…this is just from me." He watched as his daughter held the gift looking at it. He had been holding onto it for awhile and was excited that he was finally able to give it to her.

She smiled up at him and then looked back down to the tiny box. She slowly untied the ribbon, setting it aside on her lap and then opened the lid. "Dad," she smiled.

He took out the tiny pearl bracelet and clasped it around her wrist. "This was your Grandma Humphrey's favorite bracelet. She got it when she was seventeen. She had me save it for you." He turned it around and looked at it for a moment before looking at his daughter. "She gave it to me when Lily and I went to Concord last month. She said she had it pack away in her jewelry box just for you."

Jenny touched the tiny pearl's that were dangling from the bracelet. She could faintly remember her grandma wearing it. She looked back up to her dad and hugged him. "Thank-you," she whispered.

He smiled," You're welcome," he kissed her cheek. "So did you enjoy your birthday? I know it was a little different then past ones."

Jenny looked down at her shoes thinking about earlier today and when her mother had slapped Lily in Bendels. She had such mixed emotions about her mother lately and that didn't help make things any less confusing. "Umm….yeah dad," she didn't quite look him in the eye. "Everything was great. "

He looked at her for a moment and could tell by the tone in her voice that everything was not okay. He sighed and took her hand. "I know that things are different now, and not how they were in Brooklyn…." he sighed.

"Dad that's not it," she looked at him. "It's…it's mom."

He swallowed hard. He knew this was going to be an issue. He couldn't believe that Alison hadn't been around. He hadn't heard a word from her, not even a response since he sent her that letter telling her that him and Lily were married. "I'm sorry she's not here, " he was honest. "I know that birthdays are a big deal for you two."

She bit her lip, not really wanting to tell her dad what happened, but knew that he would find out anyways, if not from her, then from Lily. "I umm…I saw mom today," she looked away.

His brow furled, "You did? When?" He was surprised.

"At Bendels," she bit her lip. "When Lily and I were shopping for my dress."

"Oh," he was a little worried. "Did you two…talk?"

She sighed, not saying anything.

"Honey what's wrong?" he looked at her.

"Mom slapped Lily," she came out with her, a few tears in her eyes.

"What!" he looked at her. "Alison slapped her?" He looked around a moment wondering where Lily was. "Why?"

"I…I…don't know," she shook her head. "I just…walked out of the dressing room and there she was. I was just so surprised to see her and in Bendels of all places. I mean I haven't seen mom in months and then the first thing I see is her slapping Lily across the face. And… I'm afraid I wasn't too nice to her." Jenny sighed thinking back to how she didn't say a word to her mother and then walked off with Lily. She had just been so mad…and now she felt awful.

Rufus ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't believe she did that. He knew that Lily and her never got along, but Alison was usually more self-contained than that. He could only imagine what Lily must have felt. She must have been so embarrassed. "Are you okay," he looked at Jenny. "Did you say anything? Talk to her?"

"No," she shook her head. "I was just so mad. I….I kinda blew her off and I just…I didn't know what to feel….I still don't."

Rufus wrapped his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I know it's hard. It's been a big adjustment. It has for all of us. And I'm sorry your mother hasn't been around. I won't make excuses for her. "

"Lily said it's because you two are married now, and we're all living here," she turned her head to look at him. "But she's living in Hudson."

"We all made our decisions," he sighed. "I'll talk to your mother. We'll sort this out. "

"This is the first birthday we didn't spent together," she sighed, trying to keep her tears in. "I mean I knew it was going to be different this year….but I just figured…I…I don't even know."

"Let me talk to her," he squeezed her shoulder. "I know your mom and I'm sure she feels awful for missing your birthday. She's probably just as confused at you are."

"You're making excuses for her," Jenny laughed.

He smiled and took her hand getting off the couch. "Old habits."

She laughed softly, "Thanks for today. I really did have a nice time."

He put his arm around her as they walked up the stairs. "I'm glad. You deserve it."

She opened the door to her bedroom and leaned against the frame. "Waffles in the morning?"

"Waffles in the morning," he smiled and kissed her forehead. "Happy Birthday."

She smiled at him before closing her door.

Rufus walked down the hallway and into his room, softly closing it behind him. Lily was sitting at her vanity taking her earrings out. She looked up when she heard him. "Did she like her bracelet?" she asked looking at him thru the mirror.

Rufus walked up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "She did," he nodded.

"Good," she reached up and took his hand, rubbing it gently.

"Lil," he looked at her squeezing her hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She turned around to look at him. "Why didn't I tell you about….oh," she bit her lip realizing what he was talking about. She turned back around and picked up her brush. "Well, I…I didn't want to ruin Jenny's birthday by bringing it up. It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Lily she slapped you," he sighed.

"And I'm sure it's something she's been wanting to do for twenty years," she laughed trying to make light of it.

"Lily," he frowned.

"Rufus," she turned around in her chair. "I'll tell you the same thing that I told Jenny. She's scared, Rufus. "

"Scared?" he shook his head. "Of what?"

"Of our family," she took his hand. "That we're all living together. I'm helping to raise her children."

He let go of her hand. "Well she should have thought about that before she left. She had her chance to be a bigger part of their lives. I haven't seen or heard from her in months. She doesn't get a reason to feel scared. She did this to herself."

Lily got up from her vanity and crossed the room leaning against the window frame, watching him fumble with his emotions. "Jenny's been having a hard time with this and she didn't know how to bring it up. "

He sighed, "I know, I just…I never thought I would have to do this alone."

Lily looked down slightly hurt. "You're not alone."

Rufus looked up at her after hearing the falter in her voice. "Lil," he sighed. "That's not what I meant. I know you're here and you're doing a wonderful job. And I love you more for it."

She smiled slightly and squeezed his hand. "You know there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for our children."

"I know," he touched her cheek and kissed her softly. "I just don't like what her not being here is doing to Jenny. Alison needs to know these things. "

"Why don't you go to Hudson tomorrow," she told him. "Explain these things. I think it's time for you two talk."

He sighed and shook his head. "You don't mind?"

"Course not," she shook her head as she rubbed his arm. "She's their mother. And I would want to know if something was troubling my children. Especially if I was the cause."

"Thanks Lil," he pulled her into his arms and held her close. His eyes scanned the room for a moment and his gaze fell on a shopping bag in the corner of the room by the closet. "Lil…"

"Mmm…." She laid her head on his shoulder.

"What's that?" he nodded toward the bag.

"What's what?" she turned to look where his gaze fell. "Oh, nothing," she waved it off, giving him a kiss, hoping he would drop it."

He started to move them backward toward the closet. "You didn't buy anything did you?" he spoke against her lips.

"No, of course not," she continued to kiss him as she slowly kicked the shopping bag into the closet. "Mmm…we're going the wrong way, Humphrey. The bed is over there."

"No we're going the right away," he smiled against her lips before he swooped down and picked up the bag behind her feet. "What's in here?"

"Rufus!"

He looked into the bag and rolled his eyes. "Shoes?"

"Mmm….Larissa's taking them back," her eyes darted back and forth. "They…ummm….they don't fit."

"Really," he nodded. We'll I'm heading out that way tomorrow. I can take them back for you," he eyed her.

She reached for the box, "Oh I'm…Umm….Okay I bought some shoes!" she broke down. "I couldn't help it."

He laughed, "I saw the bag earlier. I was just giving you a hard time. I knew you couldn't resist, even if I told you no."

"You're not mad?" she questioned. "I mean you told me not to."

"Course not. Besides I was just kidding," he put his arm back around her. "I'm not going to tell you what you can and can not buy. It's your money."

"Our money," she corrected.

He squeezed her hand and smiled at her. "Why don't you get in bed? I'll be there in a second."

"Alright," she nodded and kissed him. Moving toward the bed she pulled back the covers and picked up the throw pillows and tossed them on the chair next to the bed. Getting under the covers she laid back and rested her head in the pillows. "Rufus will you bring an extra blanket?" she called to him. "It's cold."

Rufus finished brushing his teeth and changed into his sweats and a t-shirt. Grabbing a blanket from the hall closet he opened it up and then walked back into their room. Seeing Lily he smiled and then took the blanket and laid it on top of her and rubbing her arms. "That better?"

"Yes," she smiled, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

He rounded the bed and pulled back the covers and got in. He pulled Lily into his arms and kissed her temple. "Today was a good day," he smiled. "Having everyone together…it was nice."

She rested her head on the side of his neck, giving it a quick kiss. "It was. I love when we're all together. "

"Mmm….me too," he kissed her again. Turning he looked at her, "I'm going to leave early in the morning so I can come back early. I don't want to spend my day there."

She sighed, "Rufus please try and be civil. For Jenny at least."

"I'm going to be civil," he closed his eyes. "I don't want to get into a fight with her. I'm just going to let her know how I feel about the situation. She needs to know what she's doing to the kids."

She nodded as she closed her eyes. "I have a meeting in the morning with Bass Industries. So how about you meet me for a late lunch mmm?"

"Sounds like a date," he smiled and tightened his hold on her.

"A date,' she murmured falling asleep.

He laughed, as he closed his eyes again. "I love you, honey."

"Mmm…love," she fell asleep.

* * *

He walked up the steps to her door and took a deep breath before ringing the bell. He hadn't seen his ex-wife in some time and he didn't know how he exactly felt about seeing her again. He just wanted to get it over with.

He stood there for a few more moments and there was no answer. "Alison," he knocked on the door again. "Alison."

He looked at his watch and noticed it was a little after nine in the morning. He knew he probably should have called before he came over, but he was in such a mind set, he didn't even think about it. Sighing he was about to turn around when he heard the lock unlatch and slowly open.

"Who is it?" he heard her whisper from behind the door.

"It's me," he tried to look around the door. "Al?"

"Rufus?" she slowly opened the door and looked at him.

The first thing he noticed was her red eyes and dark circles. She was still in her pajamas and her hair was haphazardly thrown up in a ponytail. She looked tired and didn't look him straight in the eyes. "Alison?" he moved a little closer. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she moved backward, recoiling a bit into herself. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you," he tried to look her in the eyes. "Can I come in?"

"Come to yell at me?" she wrapped her arms around herself. "I told Lily I was sorry. I…I didn't mean to do what I did. It was wrong. I know that. And I really don't want to talk about it."

Rufus continued to look at Alison. There was something different about her. Something off. She wasn't her normal self. "I'm not going to yell I just want to talk to you. Are you alone?" He tried to look passed her. "Is…is Alex here?"

Her eyes finally made there way to his. "I'm…I'm not seeing Alex." she shook her head. "I'm sorry you can come in." Opening the door all the way she let Rufus in. They stood in the foyer for a moment before he spoke again.

As much as he despised Alex and what she did to him and their family he wanted her to be happy. And he could tell at that moment she wasn't. He didn't spend eighteen years of his life with her to not know when something was wrong. "Can we sit down?"

She nodded and walked into the living room. Sitting on the couch she quickly picked up the remote and turned off the television. Rufus looked up as soon as she turned it off, he caught a glimpse of it and something looked slightly familiar to him. Taking a deep breath Alison looked at him. "I'm so sorry," she tried to keep her tears in. "That wasn't me. You know that."

He sat up in his chair and moved toward the edge. "That's why I was so surprised when Jenny told me."

"I didn't mean for her to see that. I mean…I didn't even mean for it to happen." she shook her head and looked downward. "I'm so ashamed."

"Al," he sighed. "What's going on with you? Where have you been?" He tried to look at her face, but she kept it hidden.

"Here," she looked away.

"The entire time?" he eyed her. "You said you'd come and see the kids more. You said you'd be taking trips into the city."

"I know," she got up. "I know I did." Walking toward the window she pulled back the curtain and looked out the window on to the street. "It's been hard."

"I know it's been hard. I've been the one with the kids. I've been the one that had to explain to them where you've been," he grew angry. "Do you know how hard that's been? I don't know what to say to Jenny anymore. She's at that age. She needs you."

Alison turned around and for the first time Rufus saw the tears in her eyes. "Does she?" she questioned. "She seems to be getting along fine with Lily."

Rufus stopped and looked at her for a second. Lily had been right. She was jealous and a myriad of other emotions he could tell that were bubbling under the surface. He shook his head and sighed. Walking over to her he leaned against the window frame facing her. "Lily has been there for her. But Al, she's not her mother. She's not who raised her. You are."

"Jenny doesn't want me," she looked down before looking at Rufus again. "I saw her yesterday shopping with Lily. How much fun she was having." She finally let the tears fall from her eyes. "She can give her all the things I can't. You're all living together. You're her family now."

"Alison our family has changed a bit, but you and I are still Jenny and Dan's parents. That'll never change. I don't want you to think that. I know it must be hard with us living there and you here. But you made that choice. You wanted to go back to Hudson. You wanted your life here," he tried to make her see.

"I know I did," her voice shook. "I just didn't know it was going to make me feel like this. I thought that I would be happy here. I thought I wasn't going to be alone again! That I was finally going to get to do what I wanted to do."

"Do what you wanted?" He shook his head not understanding.

"Did we not just talk about this Rufus? You know I lost myself along the way when we were married. It was always you and your music. You promised me that I'd be able to come back to my art and it never happened!" she turned from him.

"Never happened?" his voice rose. "What have you been doing for the past year and a half? Why the hell did you leave?"

She took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face him. "It only took eighteen years Rufus. And don't talk about me leaving. You were gone months at a time. Doing God knows what!"

"At least I never cheated on you!" he yelled at her. "I know how to be faithful to the person I'm married to!"

"Get out of my house!" she cried, pointing to the door. 'Get out!"

"No," he stood his ground. "I'm not done yet. I'm still talking to you. "

"Then I'm leaving!" she turned. "I don't have stand here and listen to you yell at me about how horrible of a mother I am or how I abandoned my children….or…or how awful of a wife I was. I'm not!" she finally broke down. "I'm not!"

"Alison," he grabbed her arm. "Don't. Come on."

"Let me go," she cried. "Let me go…"

"No," he brought his arm around her, his voice softening. "No."

She turned and started to cry into his chest. "I'm losing my children," she sobbed.

"No," he wrapped both his arms around her. "No you're not. They love you. You're not losing them."

"I don't want to compete with Lily again," her stomach started to ache thinking about it. "I can't do it again. It hurts too much."

He pulled her out of his arms and looked at her. "Compete? Alison what are you talking about?"

She couldn't look him in the eyes. "I…I-"

"It was never a competition," he shook his head. "You shouldn't feel like that."

"How can I not?" she whispered. "I know how you've always felt about her -even when…when we were married. She always reminded me of it…and I always knew."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "Just because I loved her first doesn't mean I never loved you."

She looked away trying to keep herself from crying more. "Yeah…"

"Look at me," he turned her chin. "I loved you. I still love you. You gave me our children. You gave me so much that I never thanked you for. And…and I know I took you for granted at times. I just always figured you would be there. I…I shouldn't have done that."

"I wanted to be," she swallowed. "It's just…I didn't remember who I was anymore. I just felt like I was always waiting….waiting for it to be my time. Waiting for you to realize…waiting for things that never came. "

"I know," he swallowed finally admitting it to himself. "There were so many things I promised you. I'm sorry."

She wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry too. I didn't want to be with Alex. I didn't. I don't know why I went to him that night."

"You were lonely," he sighed.

"That doesn't make it right."

He looked at her, "As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself I understood why you did it."

"Rufus…."

"I drove you there," he looked into her eyes. "I made it look like you were second behind Lily, second behind my music, second to everything in my life when you should have been first," he started to tear up. "I drove you there."

"I…I just I wanted you Rufus. All I ever wanted was for me to mean as much to you as you did to me." Alison started to cry harder at her declaration. She had never told him how she felt on that subject. She never wanted to bring up Lily at all, so she just kept it in. She never told him how she felt second to everything in his life.

Rufus pulled her back into his arms again. "I'm so sorry. I wish you would have told me how you felt." He looked up at the ceiling trying unsuccessfully to keep his own tears in. "Right when you felt it. I never wanted to hurt you."

'What would I say?" she leaned her head on his shoulder. "That I felt you loved someone more than me? That I know you wish you could turn back time and go back to her? Do you know how hard that is for me to even say now? Do you know how much it still hurts?"

He pulled her over to the couch. Sitting down he took a deep breath and looked at her. "I know I messed up. I know I did, but you have to believe me when I say I loved you. Years went by and I didn't even think about her because I was so happy with you and our family." He looked into her eyes and for the first time in twenty years he couldn't read them. "Once I was with you I never thought I'd be back with Lily again. I knew that part of my life was over. I would never turn back time….or wish I had another life. I love my children and if it weren't for you I'd never have them. They're a part of us….the best part."

Alison swallowed and slowly brought her gaze to meet his. She saw the sincerity in his eyes and smiled softly. "I know it seemed like I only wanted to do my art, but all I ever truly wanted was to be a mom. And once the kids got older I thought I could do both. You did both and I wanted to have that tiny piece of my life back. I thought it would make me happy again."

"You said it did make you happy," he looked at her.

"It did," she nodded. 'It was such an outlet for my frustrations. You knew I wasn't happy and in ways my art made me content, but it didn't fill every void. And I didn't want to admit that to myself. I wanted to keep trying but as time went on I knew it wasn't only the art that made me who I was it was my family. And it took Jenny's plea to come back to make me realize that."

"I was in denial for a long time," he played with his wedding ring. "I knew you weren't as happy as you could be so that's why I let you go. I never expected you to be gone for as long as you did. And as the weeks dragged on I…I didn't want to call you."

"Why?"

"Because I knew you were probably happier upstate than being there with me."

"It was a different kind of happy," she shrugged.

"He made you happy," Rufus looked away.

She pursed her lips not knowing what to say because she now knew it was one of the biggest mistakes of her life. "Rufus I…"

"He put you first," he looked at his shoes. "He treated you how I should have. He did things for you I should have done."

"I don't want to talk about him," she whispered.

"I could tell," he continued. "The way he talked about you when I met him in the bar. He was completely in love with you. "

"Apparently not," she rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean?" he turned to look at her.

"He cheated on me," she whispered. "I just found that out."

"Al," he sighed.

'What?" she laughed in spite of herself. "I deserved it."

"Stop," he shook his head. "You didn't deserve that."

"It is what it is," she shrugged. "I have whatever it is I have now. And you have Lily."

"Al," he shifted on the couch rolling over the remote. He turned quickly when he saw the television flash on. He looked back at Alison then to the television again. "Al?"

"I umm…." She bit her lip, her face blushing a bit.

"Why are you watching this?" he wondered.

"Jenny and I…we always watch it on her birthday," she tried to smiled. "It was our little tradition. This…this was the first year we…we didn't watch it together." Her chin started to quiver when she thought about it. "It's the first time."

Rufus looked at her and then to the screen. "I know I'm not Jenny but…I'll watch it with you. I…I haven't seen this in….I don't remember when."

She looked at the screen for a moment then back to him. "I…I'd like that."

He picked the blanket off the ground and placed in on Alison's lap. "I think I was a little camera happy that time around."

She laughed, "That's because you knew it was going to be a girl…."

"…_. Just keep pushing Al, you're doing great come on!" Rufus coached. "She's almost here!" _

"_I don't want to do this anymore," she panted throwing her head back into the pillows. "It hurts so much, Rufus." _

_He brushed her sweaty bangs back and kissed her forehead. "I know it does. I know. But you're almost done," he smiled. "And then our daughter will be here and you'll get to hold her. It'll make all this worth it I promise." _

"_I just want to hold her," she cried out once again as another contraction hit her. "Oh!" _

"_Push through it…push through it, come on!" he held her hand as she squeezed it tightly. "One….two…three….four….okay breathe…breathe," he soothed. "Just a couple more times. You can do it." _

"_My back…it feels like I'm being stabbed," she pushed upward. "My epidural is wearing off," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _

"_Don't think about it," he shook his head. "Just look at me." Sitting down on the side of the bed he gripped tightly onto her hand. "Look at me. We can do this." _

_She nodded and took a deep breath as her contraction hit. She looked into Rufus's eyes trying to breathe through the pain. "Ahhhrrrggg!" she panted. "Rufus!" _

"_You're almost done. One more push!" he looked downward. "She's almost out. Look at me, come on! One more!" _

_Alison closed her eyes and bore down with all of her might. She couldn't remember being in such blinding pain. She couldn't even remember giving birth to Dan. Everything was such a blur to her in her pain. "Oh!" she cried. "Oh!" she pushed as hard as she could. _

"_She's out!" Rufus cried as he saw the nurse pick up his daughter. "You're done baby. It's all over. You did it. She's out. You're done." _

"_Is she okay?" her eyes searched back and forth as she became extremely tired. "Where is she?"_

_Rufus watched as the nursed placed his daughter on his wife's chest. "Congratulations," the nurse smiled. "You have a daughter." _

"_Oh…." Alison cried seeing her daughter for the first time. "Ohhh…she's…she's beautiful," she couldn't take her eyes off of her. "Oh, honey look." _

_Rufus brushed away his own tears. "Just like her mother," he kissed Alison's temple. "I love you so much." _

"It umm… ends here," Alison quickly stopped the tape as she bit her bottom lip. "It got cut off."

Rufus eyed her for a moment knowing that wasn't the end of the tape, but didn't want to upset her. "I can still remember that day like it was yesterday."

"Mmm…" she nodded.

Rufus looked at Alison and noticed the far off look in her eyes. "Why don't you….why don't you come back with me?"

"What?" she turned to look at him.

"You can stay at the loft with Dan. I'm sure that he would love to have you. You could spend a couple days there….or as long as you want. Jenny she…she wants to see you. Wants to talk with you. They both do." Rufus looked into her eyes waiting for her reaction.

"You think it would be a good idea?" she wondered.

"Yeah," he smiled "I do. And we can do dinner tonight. I know Jenny missed having her family together on her birthday. She would like this."

Alison smiled thinking about it. "Lily wouldn't mind that…that we go out?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't. I'll talk to her about it," he nodded. "But I think our family needs some healing before any of us can really move on."

"Our family?"

"Al," he took her hand. "Just because we got a divorce doesn't mean we're all still not family. We are. I don't want us to be on bad terms. We have children. We still need to be here and make decisions."

"Thank you," she looked at him.

He gave her a quick hug. "Go on and change and pack a bag. I'll wait here."

"Alright," she got up looking a moment at Rufus before walking into her room.

* * *

"Why are we coming to the loft?" Jenny looked up to her dad as they got out of the taxi in front of the building. "Isn't Dan in class?"

"He is." Rufus opened the door for his daughter and they started to climb the back staircase.

"Then why are we coming?" she wondered.

Rufus looked over to his daughter and laughed. "Since when did you become so inquisitive?"

"I'm just curious. We haven't been to the loft in so long. It's not our home anymore."

"No, but it is nice to visit it sometimes." Walking the hallway Rufus rounded the corner and opened the door to the loft. He looked inside and saw Alison turn and slowly rise from the couch. Jenny walked in behind him and she noticed her mother right away.

"Mom," she was surprised. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Hi…sweetheart," she whispered. "I…I came to see you… to apologize for yesterday. "

"Oh?" she eyed her.

"Well I'm just going to go…run some errands," Rufus looked at both of them. "I'll be back later."

"Dad," Jenny turned.

"I'll be back. Talk with your mom," he opened the door and quickly left.

Alison watched as Rufus walked out of the loft. She turned to her daughter, "Happy Birthday," she smiled at Jenny. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you yesterday. I…I was thinking about you all day."

Jenny walked passed her and threw her purse on the counter. "Thanks. I…I had a nice day yesterday." Jenny opened the fridge and pulled out a drink.

"I'm glad," she swallowed.

Opening the can she took a few long drinks, neither one of them saying anything to the other. Alison rubbed the side of her neck and then walked over leaning her back onto the counter. "Sweetheart I'm so sorry. If I could….if I could take it back I would. I should never have hit Lily. It…it was wrong and I know that. You should have never seen that."

Jenny looked down and then back to her mother. "It's not just you hitting Lily," she wanted her to know. "I know how you feel about her. I know she's not your favorite person."

"That doesn't make it right," she shook her head. "You know that."

"Where have you been?" she swallowed hard, not wanting to cry. "You said that we'd be alright. That'd we'd see each other all the time even though we didn't live together anymore. Mom I've seen you once since Christmas."

"I know, I know," she looked down shaking her head. "There is no excuse for that. It's my fault…it's me. I just….I haven't been in a good place lately. I didn't want you or your brother to see me…like this."

"Mom," Jenny softened. "You could have called me at least. I missed talking to you. I…wanted to tell you about school…and what's been going on. You haven't been here. And it's not the same talking to dad.

"You…you can talk to me now," she started to break down a little. "I'm here now."

"For how long?" she rolled her eyes, recoiling again. "Until Alex wants you to go back."

Alison touched the edge of her shirt running her fingers along the bottom seam. "I'm not…I'm not seeing Alex anymore. And I'll stay…I'll stay as long as you want me too."

Jenny watched her mother for a moment and could tell she was about to cry, something she rarely ever did. She hated to see her mother cry. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't know."

"It's fine," she waved it off, crossing her arms around her midsection. "Besides it's not about him. It's about us and our family. I know it seems like I shut you out, but…I thought about you and your brother every day. I wanted to come see you it's just….God I don't even know," she sighed.

Jenny moved around the counter and toward her mother. Lily's words ran threw her head at that moment and she knew what her mother was feeling. She looked at her a moment before hugging her mom. "You won't lose me," she told her. "I…I love you."

"Oh honey," she wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I promise I'm here now. I want to know everything. I'm here. I love you."

"I'm sorry too," she rested her head on her mothers chest. "I'm sorry for blowing you off at Bendels….for making it seem like I didn't care. I was just so confused…so mad."

"Shh…." Alison stroked Jenny's blonde hair. "I know….I know. I was caught off guard too. I didn't realize I was going to feel the way I did. "

"Lily isn't my mom," she looked up at her. "I mean it's nice to have her around. And dad's happy it's just…I'm just so used to her being Serena and Erics mom…Mrs. Van der Woodsen…Sometimes it's just hard to find where I fit into the equation. You know?"

"I know," she hugged her. "But you'll always fit in with our family. Even though your father and I are divorced doesn't mean we're still not a family, because we are. We'll always be here for each other no matter where we live."

"Are you going to go back to Hudson?" she pulled away to look at her.

"Not if…not if you don't want me to," she swallowed. "There's nothing really there for me now. Nothing that I can't do here. And more importantly," she touched her hair. "You're not there….Dan's not there."

"Stay," Jenny smiled and hugged her mother. "Stay and we can go apartment searching for you and I can help you move. I can."

"I'd like that," she smiled. "I'd like that a lot."

"I never wanted you to go to Hudson in the first place," she told her. "But I knew it meant something to you. I saw how happy you were."

"I was happy…for while," she told her. "But art isn't everything. You and Dan…you're my everything," she hugged her again.

"Mom…." She laughed.

"What you are," she smiled. "And I always want you to know that. You guys will always come first. And that starts now. Tonight."

'Tonight?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded. "We're going to have a little belated birthday dinner."

"We?" she was confused.

"Yes," she was excited. "You, me, Dan, and your father."

"What?" she was surprised. "Really? And that's…that's okay?"

"Yeah," she rubbed her back. "It's about time we all get together and talk. We need this…as a family."

"We do," she agreed. "We do."

* * *

Rufus walked into his bedroom and found Lily curled up in bed reading a book. "Hey," he smiled, sitting on the bed next to her. "Sorry I'm so late."

She closed her book and put it to the side looking over at him. "Where were you? I tried calling."

"Things took longer in Hudson than I thought," he looked at her. "I called you around noon, but your secretary said that meetings were running over and then you had stepped out."

"They did run over and then the second half of the meeting got transferred to our midtown offices. I was just calling to tell you I couldn't do lunch."

"Oh," he laid back against the pillows. "I haven't checked my messages yet."

"You okay?" she turned to her side to look at him. "You seem quiet. Did something happen? You've been gone all day."

"Alison and I took the kids to dinner," he turned to look at her. "Alison she…we…needed to do that. She's taking things harder than I thought. " He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, thinking over the day. "It was a hard day."

Lily moved over in bed and wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "Do you want to tell me about it? You want to talk?"

He bit his lip and looked down at her. "I…I never knew she felt the way she did while we were married."

She looked over at him with questioning eyes. "Felt like what?"

"That I was always putting her second," he sighed. "That I wished she was you."

Lily swallowed not knowing what to say. It was always such a touchy subject. "Do…do you feel that you did?"

"I know at times I put her behind my music…I just…I feel like shit."

"Honey," she sighed.

"She thinks I never loved her. That she was just some substitute for you all those years. And yes I loved you still. I've always loved you, but I loved her too. I wasn't trying to put her second, but I'm afraid it looked like that….that I was subconsciously doing it."

"It's okay to say you loved her in front of me you know. I loved William. He's the father of my children. How can I not?" She looked up at him.

"It was just hard seeing her like that. She's going through so much and she…she doesn't have anyone. Alex cheated on her."

"Oh," she frowned.

"I just….I had thought about you a lot while I was married to her, but not….not all the time. I moved on…we both moved on."

"We did," she agreed. "As much as we loved each other we also loved other people. We had separate lives for many years. Deep down I think she knows you loved her. She does….it's just hard to see that now with us married. But she knows."

"I hope so," he sighed. "It's hard not to hurt, you know. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt you."

"You haven't hurt me," she looked up at him.

"You would let me know, wouldn't you?" he held her close. "If I was doing something that was hurting you."

"I would," she closed her eyes. "But I don't want you to worry about it. You've always treated me perfect. "

He smiled feeling slightly relieved. He was glad that Lily felt he always treated her good, but was afraid it was at the expense of hurting a woman that meant a lot to him too.

"Come here," Lily pulled him downward and kissed him passionately on the mouth. "Everything will be fine. I promise you. We'll make it work. We will."

Rufus smiled and kissed her back. "Thanks, Lil."

Lily rolled over and turned off her reading lamp on the side table. She snuggled back in Rufus's arms and slowly started to kiss him. "I bet you that I can make your day a little bit better."

"You could?" he kissed her back. "And how would you do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," she smiled. "Maybe a little bit of this," she kissed him again.

"Oh," he laughed. "That all?"

She lowered her hand and found the edge of his shirt where it was tucked into his pants. "Maybe a little bit of this too," she grinned. "I'm sure we could work something out."

Pulling the sheets over their heads he grinned at her and rolled over so he was on top of her. "I'm sure we can Mrs. Humphrey."

"Mmm….good," she closed her eyes reaching up to kiss him again. "Let me take care of you."

"We'll take care of each other," she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. "Always."

"Always," he kissed her, slowly making all his worries and guilt turn to love and affection.


End file.
